I puked a lego.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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