TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
