Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize