You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
