Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
