one might say we're banned from that church
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize