Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
