I'm really into asian looking animals
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
