Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
