i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Randomize
