i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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