Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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