You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
