the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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