I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
