ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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