Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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