New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
