Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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