glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
