Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
