Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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