He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Life is so much better after having sex.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
