drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize