wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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