I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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