where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
