I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize