i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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