What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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