i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
