CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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