I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
