Don't you send me to vm
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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