when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Me too!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Everything about him screamed your future.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
