Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
