GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
