Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
