Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize