The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
