Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
