It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
