I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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