Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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