i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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