At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
