You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
