They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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