Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
