I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
