worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You ate ashes out of my bong
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize