Do you still have your period?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
