Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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