RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
