dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
