My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
