So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
