There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
