i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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