is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
