whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
well you can't waste a boner
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Randomize
